Two of a Kind
by Nightengale
Summary: The reason Sirius and Snape hate each other? They both love Remus Lupin. Follow through the years as these two come to terms with that fact of whom they love and who else loves that same person. (Disclaimer- Not my characters or chapter titles)
1. Ch 1: The Begining

Around a small table, one that seemed the right size to hold only coffee and magazines, sat four boys each individually busy scribbling on parchment or leafing through books. A bright fire crackled in front of them, warming the winter chilled room. One of the four boys leaned back against the couch and stared at the fire with a sigh.

"I know all this crap! I shouldn't have to write it too." He muttered.

"You know, Sirius, leaving potions to last probably isn't' the best idea you've had."

Sirius glared over at James, like he was really one to talk. James had as bad a record with doing his potions homework as Sirius did. Before Sirius could reply Remus voiced his very thoughts without even raising his eyes from his charms book.

"James, I believe you're the one with a potions book and an empty roll of parchment on the floor next to you."

Sirius and Peter both snorted at Remus' remark and grinned at James. James shook his head and grumbled something about over achievers. Remus only smiled behind his book.

"What was that?" Peter chided.

"Oh, shut up, Wormtail." James snapped, staring at his transfiguration paper.

"I didn't quite get that James." Sirius continued.

"I'm going to hex you." James said.

Sirius snorted and Peter laughed nervously.

"At least I am done my homework before 1 am." Remus added, chuckling.

"Actually," Sirius said, looking down at his Puddlemore United watch, "Its 1:24 am now."

Remus looked up slowly from his charms book and smiled softly at Sirius. "1:24 then."

Sirius felt a vague fluttering in his chest and sudden heat spread through him. Blinking in slight surprise Sirius shook his head, washing the feeling back where is came from. Turning the grin that felt as thought it wanted to overtake his face into a slightly awkward laugh Sirius tapped his watch and nodded importantly.

"1:25, now."

Remus laughed and returned his eyes back to his charms book. Sirius very quietly let out a breath of air. He'd been finding more and more lately that at unexpected moments when Remus was around he would find himself suddenly filled with a rush of warmth or happiness. Sirius didn't really know how to explain these occurrences but he decided he may as well just write them off as feelings of friendship. After all, Remus was a very good friend. Who else had the good nature and was patient enough to get Sirius to do his runes and transfiguration homework? Also, who else spent the time lecturing him on staying out too late with random girls or on his poor eating habits? Yes, Remus was an impeccable friend; of course he should make Sirius happy, even overwhelmingly happy over little things like smiles, chess games, or snowball fights, right? Exactly, that was it.

"Oy, Sirius!"

Sirius blinked out of his thoughts at the sound of his name, "Uh, what?"

"I asked you how you started your potions essay." James said with a slightly annoyed expression.

"Oh." Sirius sat up and passed his parchment to James. "See for yourself."

Sirius nodded in reply and somehow couldn't help stealing a glance at Remus. He just caught the slight roll of Remus' eyes over the top of his book. No doubt Remus was exasperated with what he assumed was James copying homework again. Sirius knew that Remus liked giving help but disliked outright copying, though he never said a thing when they did do it. For some reason Sirius wanted to take his essay back from James.

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At breakfast James was still feverishly working on his potions essay, the class they were to attend after the meal. Sirius had finished his around 3:30 giving him a few hours sleep and time to eat now. Across the table from James Peter was holding up his potions book so James could go faster.

Sirius looked down at his watch, "20 minutes there, Potter."

James made a choked sort of noise in the back of his throat and dipped his quill in his ink bottle again. Sirius patted him on the back.

"You could always bribe her." He said referring to their potions master.

"And have her hex me into a hippogriff." James replied hurriedly.

Sirius laughed and looked at Remus. He looked as though he wanted to make a comment on James' work skills but stopped himself. Sirius stared at him a while longer, wishing he would speak, but Remus only turned back to his eggs.

"I think I forgot to put in the properties of wormwood…" James muttered.

"Just go on," Sirius said. "You should at least have a finished essay, if a wrong one."

James made an unintelligible noise and thumbed through the book Peter held.

"Or you could have finished it last night." Peter grumbled.

"Peter!" James snapped.

Sirius grinned coolly and saw Remus stop himself from choking on his scrambled eggs. Sirius' smile widened as Remus looked over at him with a 'that's James' sort of expression. They both looked at each other a moment longer until Remus turned away to look at Peter who had put his head down on the table grumbling. Sirius' eyes stayed on Remus until James whooped triumphantly beside him.

"I'm done!"

All three looked at him and clapped in a mocking sort of way.

"Oh, shut up." James said, running a hand through his hair. "I'm just glad I'm done that shite. I'll still get top marks." He grinned self assuredly.

"And we're all so proud of you Jamie!" Sirius crooned, waving a mother-like hand at him.

"Argh!" James smacked Sirius' hand away to which Sirius punched James good naturedly in the shoulder.

The two ensued to have a mock battle, smacking each other in the head, punching shoulders, and whacking each other in the chest. Their battle subsided into laughter as they nodded regally and shook hands. Peter stared at them adoringly while Remus smiled and shook his head.

"You two are impossible, but we better get on or we're going to be late for potions and professor Morphen is going to hang us by our toes."

"Oh, my poor toes!" James laughed sarcastically.

"The agony!" Sirius continued.

"Yeah, yeah, shut up you duffers. Let's go." Remus replied.

They all stood up, gathering up books, bags, and potions essays, and filled out the great hall doors.

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Chattering down the stairs the four Gryffindors came up to the door of their potions classroom. Just ahead of them coming from the opposite direction marched a certain black haired Slytherin.

"Snivellus!" Sirius called with exaggerated good tones.

The black haired boy froze like an animal ready for attack just at the doorway.

James joined in, "Having a good grease day there, _Snivellus_?"

A small crowd was now waiting to enter the classroom and cautiously watching the event.

"Yeah, I'm sure you have enough filth on you today to coat all our cauldrons." Sirius continued, smiling haughtily.

Sirius' grin broadened at the look of utmost loathing seeping from Snape's eyes and the light laughter of some of the onlookers surrounding them.

"You- you-" Snape stuttered. "Shouldn't you be chasing a snitch somewhere?"

"Well, Snivelly, we know I can do that fabulously," James flashed a smile at some of the waiting girls. "But if your greasy head's forgotten I have potions with your scrawny hide."

More of the crowd laughed and Peter whooped raucously, beaming at James. Sirius grinned and chuckled, nodding approvingly at him.

Snape merely sneered and snapped. "Not that the class is improving your pathetic abilities any. I doubt you've been able to manage a simple shrinking solution without fouling it up."

James' wand was out and leveled at him before Snape could raise his half way.

"Care to have a taste of my charms abilities grease boy, or should I just hex your face into a bunch of boils, it may improve it some?"

The crowd sniggered and Peter nodded emphatically, muttering 'yeah' beside James. Sirius cocked an eyebrow, raising his own wand.

"Or we could use our transfiguration abilities to turn your robes into frilly knickers."

The crowd laughed more. Snape looked about to manage a retort but just then Professor Morphen's sharp heels clicked down the stairs behind them. James' arm dropped and his wand disappeared into his robes.

"What's going on here?" She asked, eyeing them all critically.

"Just waiting for you professor." Sirius said, suppressing the urge to say they were greasing down cauldrons.

"Well then, in to your seats."

The professor ushered them all into the class and proceeded to the front of the room. Sirius cast a wickedly triumphant smile at a glaring Snape before sliding down beside James. Nothing was better than a good round of Snivellus jostling. Sometimes Sirius thought it was almost better than Quidditch. It wasn't until the class was setting up their cauldrons and Professor Morphen was writing potions ingredients on the board that, glancing sidelong, Sirius just realized puzzlingly that Remus hadn't laughed or made a sound during the entire interlude with Snape outside the classroom.

---------------------------

Days later the foursome were walking through the Hogwarts halls after a particularly boring charms lesson. Peter was lagging behind trying to get his books and parchment into some sort of order in his bag. The other three strode ahead, Sirius and James complaining loudly about Professor Spark while Remus just chuckled beside them.

"I just can't stand her bloody lecture classes! She goes on forever about proper hand movement and other rubbish and we never get to do any _real_ charms work!" James barked, hexing a Hufflepuff first year's hair pink in annoyance.

"James…" Remus pled.

"I swore I was going to break my fingers from the amount of times my head kept falling." Sirius added.

"Can't we use wands sometime?" James grumbled.

"And I already know all that shite she prattles on about; it's so easy!"

"Flick your wrist like this-"

"Pronounce-"

"Clearly-"

"Loudly-"

"With force-"

"James."

Both looked over at Remus who had just spoken.

"What?"

He pointed ahead of them at a trio of Gryffindor girls, a bright red head in the middle. Sirius saw James' eyes light up as his hand flew up to brush at his hair. Sirius grinned. James was always very amusing when Lily was around. You'd think that the minister of magic was handing him a medal the way he pranced about and boasted when she was near.

Sirius leaned over and whispered to Remus, "What are you betting he gets shot down again?"

Remus put on a mock serious face, "I'd say about a million to one he does."

When they were a few meters away Sirius and Remus stopped as James went up to Lily.

"How you goin' Evans?" He said with a seemingly charming smile.

Sirius and Remus glanced at each other then looked back at James. Peter then walked into the two of them with a squeak.

"Wha-?" He started, surprised by them just standing there.

"Lily." Remus said, steadying himself after Peter's impact.

"What do you want, Potter?" Lily was saying ahead of them, stance annoyed and eyes bothered.

"Just asking how you are, is that a crime?" James implored.

"I'm fine, bye now."

Lily and her flanking girls brushed past James and walked on by Remus, Sirius, and Peter.

"Hey!" James ran up after her so he was walking backwards in front of her.

The other three Marauders walked behind Lily and her crew.

"Come on Evans, you know there's something about me, we'd be perfect. Go out with me?"

Lily stopped in her tracks. "Potter, the only _thing_ about you is your sad attempt at being charming with that cocky walk or yours and I'd rather go out with a Hungarian Horntail dragon! It would more attractive."

With that Lily and her giggling partners strode around James to stalk down the hall. Sirius shook his head as the three of them stopped in front of James. He really wondered why James tried anymore. There were scores of other girls what _would_ go out with him. James glared at no on in particular as them all stood there.

"Tough luck James," Peter said finally, "Maybe you should quit, she might not like-"

"Oh, like you know a thing about women!" James snapped.

"Calm down, Prongs." Sirius said. "She'll bend eventually."

James nodded. "I know."

"Ah, and here is something that could cheer you up."

Sirius motioned towards a Snape, arms heavily laden with books, walking towards them. Peter squeaked again and Remus sighed. Sirius and James smiled at each other and advanced towards the Slytherin. Before Snape had more than one second to look up James' wand was up and he was saying 'expeillramus.' Snape's books went flying into the air, knocked every where all over the corridor. Sirius also cast expeillramus and caught Snape's wand from the other's hand as it was rising to strike back.

"Potter, Black." Snape growled.

"Don't you know that you're only good to be walking 'round the dungeons, Snape?" Sirius said.

"It's a good thing we're here to protect all grease-less society not smothered in the dark arts." James remarked with venom.

With that James cast a leg-lock charm on Snape, knocking him to the floor and walked past him down the hall with satisfied fury, ignoring Snape's bout of curses.

"Keep up the grease work, Snivellus." Sirius said, throwing Snape's wand down the hall and following after James.

Peter and Remus soon came up behind them.

"Wow, James, did you see his face?" Peter gushed. "He was so angry!"

"I know Wormtail." James said with a satisfied smile.

"And he was a bit clumsy, wasn't he? Dropping his books like that." Sirius chimed in.

James and Peter laughed but Remus merely walked ahead of them, book in hand.

"He was only walking, you know, not exactly a crime."

James snorted half-heartedly as Remus walked away from them. Sirius couldn't figure out why his chest suddenly felt as though someone had shoved their wand through it.


	2. Ch 2: Seen and Unforseen

Author note: Hey to anyone who is reading. I didn't put up any notes in my first installment so I thought I should now. This is going to be a 7 chapter long story, its all laid out already. So, don't worry, it will be finished some day, even if big gaps between chapters might occur. It's not all going to be from Sirius point of view so look ahead for changes and enjoy

Thank you to all those that reviewed! either here or on Livejournal J

Remus, Sirius, and James were one again sitting in the library after O.W.L.S. level transfiguration. Peter wasn't with them as he didn't get a high enough grade on his exam to take the class. They weren't really studying but the snow outside the castle prevented them from lounging there and the common room was overrun by 1st years this time of day. James was playing with the snitch he'd stolen last year. He'd never returned it and Sirius knew he didn't plan to.

"I can't wait to get back to Quidditch practice." James said lazily, catching the snitch for the hundredth time in only half an hour.

"So we can see." Remus muttered with exasperation.

James didn't seem to hear him. "I haven't been on my broom in ages, I-"

James cut himself off and the other two turned to look at him. They followed his eyes to the library door through which Lily Evans had just walked.

"Oh, boy." Remus said.

Sirius nodded in agreement. He hoped James wasn't going to make a fool of himself again. James let go of the snitch and was about to catch it again as he rose to stand but Sirius grabbed it out of the air before him.

"Prongs," Sirius said. "Go over without it, eh?"

James grinned and nodded. The two watched as James rustled his hair, strode purposefully over to Lily's table and sat down beside her.

"Let's hope she doesn't hex him." Remus remarked.

"Or slug him for that matter." Sirius added.

Remus sighed, "I wish she'd just go out with him so he can stop these bloody antics."

Sirius laughed. "Though you have to admit, he's dedicated to the cause."

"The cause of pursue the red-haired viper?"

Sirius snorted in reply, "Exactly."

"Ha." Remus said sarcastically.

Remus looked over at James and Lily then turned back to his transfiguration notes. Of the three of them Remus was really the only one that used the library for study. Sirius glanced over at James. It didn't seem that Lily had harmed him in any way; he may even have been getting on well. Sirius turned away from James and with a coy grin stuffed the struggling snitch into Remus' bag.

"Merry early Christmas, Moony."

Remus looked down at his bag then back up at Sirius, "Just what I always wanted."

"I try."

With a grin Remus turned back to his class notes, scanning down the page.

Though Remus had turned away Sirius did not remove his eyes from the boy beside him. Looking at Remus thus unguarded Sirius took the liberty of actually examining him. Remus was smaller than both James and himself, a few centimeters shorter and not as built, this probably coming from the strain of his monthly transformation. Despite his smaller frame Sirius knew that Remus was quick and could even out run James when the situation called for it. Looking at him now Sirius assumed this surprising ability stemmed from his werewolf alter ego. Remus sat slightly hunched over, like all teens unwilling to make the extra effort to sit up straight. However, to Sirius it seemed that Remus' hunch was not so much from laziness but from wear and strain. Thinking thus Sirius had the sudden urge to reach out and touch Remus' slopping shoulders. However, propriety seized Sirius and he wondered why he should think such an impulse to do that. Moving his gaze upwards Sirius looked up Remus' mop of hair. It was a light brown, almost sand like except one fleck of gray on the side of Remus' head right beside the edge of his face. The gray had appeared in the past year and the others had occasionally teased him about it. Sirius felt the entirety of it suited Remus very well, even the gray.

As he stared Sirius saw the spot of gray hair move as Remus' face turned into view towards him. His face fully revealed now, Sirius saw the light scars of a claw slash on his left cheek. Sirius knew there were other scars of a similar nature on Remus' body but he would rarely allow anyone to see them. However, despite the scars, Remus' face was clear and fresh with youth. His nose bore a slight snout-like appearance which Sirius had always found rather humorous. Remus also had thin diamond, not quite heart-like, shaped lips. Thin lips though they were Sirius considered them a good deal fuller than the board of a straight line that Lily Evan's lips were. Pulling his sight upward Sirius looked into Remus' dark brown eyes, small lines at the corners. His bright eyes, accentuated with creases of depth inside them, were now staring back into Sirius'.

"What?"

Sirius blinked. "What?"

"What are you staring at?" Remus asked.

The realization then came to him that he had been staring at Remus' face for a good minute now without speaking. Sirius mentally smacked himself for acting so strangely. Even if an attractive one, who just stares, analyzing his friend's face?

"I-er," Sirius stuttered, fumbling for an answer. "Well, I was… er… no, nothing, nothing." He tried to casually wave the issue away.

"But you've been staring at me for five minutes now." Remus said, confused.

"Have I?" Sirius shrugged, trying to act disinterested.

"Yeah… you-"

Remus was cut off by James suddenly landing across the table from them. At first he just stood beaming.

"Well?" Sirius finally asked.

"She said she'd go out with me, next Hogsmede visit!" James was practically jumping with excitement.

"Really?" Sirius said.

"Well, with her and some of her friends, but its… well it's a start." James still grinned.

The other two smiled simultaneously.

"That's smashing James." Sirius said.

"Absolutely fabulous." Remus added.

"Perfect event."

"Quite a joy."

"For us…"

"So relieving!"

"Ok, ok!" James stopped them. "But I got something."

The other two nodded.

"I knew she would give in." James said turning back into cool Quidditch seeker Potter.

Remus stifled his laughter and Sirius snorted.

"Prongs, you're hopeless."

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"Try a displacement charm."

"Can I stop pacing yet?" Peter groaned.

"Would that work?" James asked hunched over the fifth draft of the map they were making of Hogwarts.

The four boys were spread about the common room now that it was empty; all the other Gryffindors were away at dinner.

"I don't know, but try it." Remus answered leafing through a charms book in front of the fire. "Either that or…" He kept flipping. "An attachment charm."

Sirius glanced over at Remus from the round table where he sat next to James.

"Those two have totally opposite effects, Moony."

"I know that! But we need to keep tabs on each person and they still need mobility with that." Remus said, holding up the book. "Don't want a dot to turn into professor Binns when it's really Professor Morphen."

"Point." Sirius said.

"Can we do the ghosts too?" Peter asked, stopping his walk.

"Anything that moves, wormtail." James said.

"So you'd like." Remus muttered.

"Yeah, I would and I'll get it." James said disgruntled.

Remus threw his charms book across the room to land at James' chair.

"Then try putting the two charms together." He said lying down on the couch.

Sirius chanced a look over toward the fire but all he could see over the edge of the furniture was a small tuft of hair. Seeing no movement from the hair Sirius turned back to the map.

"Well?"

James' wand was pointed at the page as he muttered towards it.

"Well!"

"Peter, start walking again." James said.

"Aw, but we're only gonna do teachers anyhow!" Peter moaned.

"But who else am I going to practice with, walk!" James barked.

Peter groaned and started walking around the room again, circling around the entire perimeter. Sirius turned to watch Peter then returned his gaze to James.

"So? Any change?"

"Er…" James stared at the parchment. "Sort of… its jerky. I think its only half working."

"What charm did you use?"

"The one's Moony said!"

"Well, try another!"

"Like what?"

Sirius sighed and put his cheek on the table, "I don't know, I'm too tired to think."

"You could sleep." James said looking at him. "Even if it is only 6:00."

"And leave you alone with lazy Moony and pacing Wormtail?"

"I heard that." Came a tired reply from the other side of the couch.

James laughed, flipping pages in the charm book with his wand. Sirius looked around the room from where his face lay on the table. Peter was still slowly plodding along, brushing the curtains as he passed the window toward the fire place. Sirius closed his eyes to the sound of James' muttering.

"You alright, Moony?" Could be faintly heard to Sirius' ears and he opened his eyes.

"I'm fine." Remus replied.

"You su-"

"I'm fine!" Remus said ending the conversation.

Though Peter shrugged and started walking around again Sirius kept looking at the back of the couch, concern wrought through him. Why would Peter think he wasn't ok?

"I think I've- oh no, I haven't." James cried beside him.

"Ok, that's enough!" Peter landed in the chair beside James'. "I can't take any more walking."

"Well, your dot stopped lazy boy." James said with a smile.

"Great job, Prongs, but was it ever moving to start with?" Sirius asked sitting up and erasing his worry.

"Yes… a little."

Peter and Sirius both laughed in response. Just then the portrait hole opened to reveal students returning from dinner. James casually folded up the parchment and put it into his pocket. Sirius closed the charms book and tossed it to Peter.

"Bollocks!" James yelled suddenly.

Peter and Sirius stared at him and Remus looked over from the edge of the couch.

"Wormtail, we gotta go." James jumped up towards the portrait hole.

"What? Why?"

"Detention, remember?"

Remus and Sirius laughed. James and Peter had gotten detention after James have turned Miranda Moonstruck's bag into a rattle snake and Professor McGonagall had blamed them both.

"Better get going or she'll give you another." Remus said, lying back down.

"Yeah, shut up. Come on, Pettigrew."

James and Peter practically flew out the portrait hole leaving Sirius, Remus, and two second year girls alone in the common room.

Sirius stood up from the table he was sitting at and moved to lounge in one of the chairs by the couch. Lying on his side on the couch, arms curled up by his face Remus looked over at Sirius.

"Did James get it to work?"

"Not quite." Sirius replied.

"Well, at least we have the whole layout of the castle down." Remus said with a weary smile.

"Did we get all the tunnels?"

"I said 'whole layout,' didn't I?" Said Remus, closing his eyes.

"Remus?" Sirius said, trying to assay his tingle of doubt.

Remus opened his eyes.

"Are you _sure_ you're ok?"

Remus shook his head, "The full moon is next week." He spoke softly. "I just get a bit drained before it."

Sirius nodded, understanding. Pondering for a moment Sirius opened his mouth again.

"You know what? I don't care if you are 'drained,' Moony."

Remus blinked.

"Come on."

Sirius grabbed Remus' hand, dragging him off the couch and up the stairs to their room.

"What are we doing?" Remus asked as he was pulled along.

Sirius didn't answer, only flung open the door of their room, pulled James' invisibility cloak out of his trunk, and then whirled them both around to fly back down the stairs.

"Sirius!" Remus pled as he pulled them towards the portrait hole.

"Come on Moony," Sirius whined. "We haven't been out to illegally roam the corridors in…" He pondered. "At least a day!"

Before Remus could reply Sirius yanked them through the hole and draped the cloak over them both. Sirius couldn't help but feel elated as they crept through the corridor. It was still early so a few straggling students were around, hurrying to their common rooms. Sirius could feel Remus pressed up close behind him so they could both fit under the cloak. At that very moment Sirius felt as if there wasn't any way he could be happier.

After waiting far too long for Peeves to remove himself from their way the two Marauders crept silently through the atrium doors and out onto the snow smothered courtyard. Once they were outside Sirius threw the cloak off of them in a flourish. Snow was one of Sirius' favorite things and that night was a perfect time to be outside to enjoy it. Looking up at the sky Sirius twirled around once then grinned at Remus. The other stared back at him with arms folded.

"Come on, Moony!" Sirius said. "You have to admit it is at least a tad bit enjoyable out here."

Remus shrugged, looking like he was trying to suppress a smile. "Maybe."

Sirius felt like his heart was smiling as much as his face with a victory over Remus' formerly sedate emotions. He felt now that his previous thought of not being able to feel any happier was conquered by that moment as Remus looked over at him, surrounded by swirls of snow, struggling not to smile as much as himself. Bending down and scooping up a handful of snow Sirius held it up and shouted towards Remus.

"Miser Moony, I challenge you to a duel!"

Remus started at him disinterestedly for a second then scooped up his own bunch of snow.

"I accept, Miser Padfoot!"

With that the duel began and both boys threw their snowballs at each other with all their might, Remus scoring a direct hit on Sirius' face and he missing entirely. They continued on, starting quite far apart with huge boughts of hurling only to have the fight transform into one of point blank range. Indeed they ended up abandoning any sense of actually throwing snowballs to simply smashing snow into each other's faces or shoving it down clothes.

"You're not going to win!" Sirius said walloping Remus in the face with a fresh handful of snow.

Remus shoved him back, shaking the snow from his hair.

"Just because you're bigger doesn't mean you're better!"

"We'll see about that!" Remarked Sirius and he rammed into Remus, knocking him to the ground.

Remus yelped in surprise as he fell back, Sirius atop him. The two rolled over and over trying to pin the other or cover him in snow. They finally stilled ending side by side, backs to the ground, in a jumble of arms and legs flung about.

"You're an idiot." Remus muttered, the two of them staring up at the falling snow.

"I know." Sirius smiled looking over at Remus.

Trapping Remus' arm beneath him and causing one leg to drape over the other boy's Sirius rolled over to better look down at Remus.

"So?" He asked.

Remus, looking up, turned his head to Sirius. "Yes?"

"I won."

Remus laughed lightly. "Yes, you did, having me pinned and all."

Sirius nodded vigorously. It felt like such a great accomplishment to be doing just that. He whacked Remus in the face to emphasize his victory to which Remus hit him back. Sirius laughed and sat up, freeing Remus' arm and leaned on his elbow. Remus rolled onto his side, head held up by his own arm, entangling their legs more. For the third time that night, looking down into Remus' face surrounded by snow speckled hair, Sirius felt that he could not be any happier.

"So," Remus began, breaking Sirius' thoughts. "What do I owe you since I've lost the duel?"

'A kiss?' Sirius thought and surprised himself in the very same instant he thought it. Why should have thought that? Looking down into Remus' dark brown eyes, perfect lips, and slightly flushed cheeks it came to Sirius like a bludger to the head.

"Oh my God." Sirius said in breathless surprise and fear.

"What?" Remus asked, confused.

Sirius did not answer him, only shook his head. It explained it all. It explained everything. It explained the smiles, all the feelings, all the moments of unanswerable happiness or despair, it explained just now. Sirius was in love with Remus and there was nothing he could do to change it.

Beside him Remus sat up, untangling their legs.

"What, Sirius, are you ok?"

Sirius nodded and stood up, "Yeah, yeah. I'm fine."

Remus stood up looking less than convinced. "You sure?"

Sirius nodded turning to look back at the doors they had come through. He was surprised to see them cracked open and what looked like a figure standing there watching them. Sirius tried to look closer but the doors had closed and the figure was gone.

"Alright," Remus interrupted again. "But you still haven't decided on my sentence." He grinned in amusement.

Sirius smiled, keeping his voice steady. "I'd make you my slave but you're end up being too annoying, so I'll have to think on it."

Really all that Sirius could think of then was what felt like his own sentence.

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When they finally went back indoors both boys bore bright red cheeks, wet clothes, and cold bodies. But of course along with the wet and cold came happy hearts of time well spent.

They didn't even hear the spell or see the caster before they were thrown backwards to the ground, wands flying away into the air. Sirius made a futile grasp for his but to no avail. Both looked over to see where their wands had gone only to see them in the hand of Severus Snape.

"Well, well, well look what we have here." Remus slowly moved the invisibility cloak completely underneath him as Snape spoke. "Two idiot Gryffindors out when they shouldn't be."

Snape seemed only too delighted with himself and Sirius wondered if he had been the figure at the door before. His fists clenched at the very thought of Snape watching the two of them alone.

"Snivellus." Sirius growled.

Snape's eyes darkened and he pointed his wand more directly at Sirius' chest.

"I'd keep my mouth shut if I were you, unless you'd like me to practice some of my more complicated hexes on you."

Sirius was about to respond but Remus whacked him on the arm and shook his head. Snape laughed at them on the floor.

"At least one of you has some semblance of a brain." Snape looked at Remus when he spoke and Sirius thought he spoke with less distain than usual but it was probably his imagination.

In fact this comment coming from Snape was almost a compliment. Remus was staring right back at Snape now, Gryffindor bravery kicking in and refusing to let Snape get the best of him. Sirius grinned in satisfaction and stared heatedly at Snape himself.

"Get up." Snape finally said coldly with a quick jerk of his wand to indicate he was serious.

The two Gryffindors got back to their feet, clearing their heads after the sudden fall. Sirius barely noticed that Remus had stuffed the invisibility cloak into the pocket inside his robes quick as a flash.

"Let's go see Professor Morphen." Snape said, pointing them to walk down the hall.

"What? Don't have the guts to go to McGonagall?" Sirius said as they turned to walk.

Sparks flew out of the end of Snape's wand, catching Sirius in the back. Sirius winced and glared at Snape before turning to walk.

"What's the point of this, Snape?" Remus asked as they walked ahead of him. "You're not supposed to be out after hours either."

Snape didn't answer.

"Just what were _you_ doing out here?" Remus continued.

"Quiet, Lupin."

Sirius continued on Remus' thought line. "Yeah, Snape, what were you doing, following us?"

"I said quiet, Black, don't strain your already minuscule brain. Its not accustomed to being really used."

Sirius rolled his eyes and sneered, restraining himself from commenting on his excellent marks which obviously used his brain. Looking sidelong at Remus he saw eyes looking back at him expectantly.

He saw Remus mouth: 'I'll distract, grab his wand.'

Sirius nodded ever so slightly.

Remus turned his head to look back, "Oy, Snape."

The moment the words left Moony's lips Sirius whirled around to grasp Snape's wand. However, Sirius hadn't realized how close Snape was walking behind them and instead of grabbing his wand Sirius hit him in the chest causing the other to drop all three wands. Each boy dived for his wand at once. Sirius was an inch away but one second too late as he felt a wand pressed to his throat from above where he was crouched at the floor.

"Nice try, Black." Snape growled.

"Drop it."

Sirius turned his eyes to see Remus standing tall above them both, wand pointed straight at Snape. Neither of them moved a muscle.

"I said, drop it." Remus repeated with a power Sirius rarely heard from him.

Sirius smiled feeling slightly like a damsel in distress and strangely that thought only bothered him a little since Remus seemed to be playing the prince.

"How about I hex him instead, Lupin?" Snape was saying above him.

"Severus."

Both boys started in surprise at the use of Snape's first name and Sirius noticed the softer tone in Remus' voice as he spoke.

"Drop your wand."

Then to Sirius' surprise Snape did just that, straightening up. Sirius picked up both wands, stood up, and rubbed his neck. Looking back and forth between the two Sirius saw their shared unblinking stare, Remus' wand leveled between them.

"What now, Lupin?" Snape said, finally breaking the silence.

"Turn around and face the other way." He said.

Snape obeyed ever so slowly. Once his back was turned Remus pulled the invisibility cloak out of his robe, draping it over them both. Sirius could only grin happily at the other's ingenuity. Remus made a motion at Sirius to drop Snape's wand after he spoke. Sirius suppressed a laugh and nodded.

"Now, go back to your own house." Remus said, backing the two of them under the invisibility cloak toward the wall.

Sirius tossed Snape's wand out from under the cloak to land at the Slytherin's feet. The moment it hit the floor Snape had it back in his hand and was whirled around to face them. The Gryffindors leaning against the wall did everything in their power not to fall over laughing at the look of shock on Snape's face at seeing no one there. Underneath the cloak in close proximity the two smiled at each other. In that moment Sirius decided that maybe it didn't matter that he couldn't do a thing to change his heart.


	3. Ch 3: The Man With Two Faces

Author Note: Hey guys! Time for a Snape narrated chapter. I want to thank everyone that has reviewed; it makes me very happy to get feedback. The next chapters will still be coming though maybe slower now that I'm going back to school. So, I apologize in advance for making you wait!

A roaring fire was burning in the grate of the Slytherin common room but Severus Snape didn't feel it at all. Sitting at the opposite side of the room secluded in one of the many dark corners Severus hardly noticed any amount of warmth was even being supplied to the room. Head bent over books Severus scribbled onto a roll of parchment furiously. He thought perhaps is he spend enough time working on his class assignments everything else in his brain would have no room to trouble his thoughts.

"Did you see that James Potter today?"

The voice of a young Slytherin girl floated toward Severus' ears and his quill stopped.

"Oh, yeah, and Sirius Black."

"Yeah, they're cute ones."

"Drop dead handsome you mean!"

"For Gryffindors." The girl's voice turned sour at her last word.

In the corner Snape's hand tightened on the quill he was holding bending it near breaking point. It seemed he could never get away from them; their names even crept into his own common room. Potter and Black, the two people he most wanted to see drown at Hogwarts wouldn't go away even when they weren't physically there. Everyone talked about them, how wonderful they were and all Severus wanted to do was hex them into dust. Unfortunately no one else seemed to share his position. No other Slytherins in his year stood up against them or would be caught dead helping him in doing so. No need for anyone to risk their own hides and get involved in the Potter/Snape war.

Still, by now, none of this surprised Severus anymore, not that it ever did. However, he still wished that at least the common room could be free of talk of the likes of them. (Purebloods of the best house should know better). Then again, why would he ever get anything he wanted.

It was partly because of something he wanted that Severus couldn't stand the mention of Potter or Black. With Potter and Black came the fact that it wasn't just Potter and Black but that there were four of them. When it came down to it, it wasn't either of the more famous members of the foursome but rather one that was rarely spoke of that sparked Severus' interest.

Severus wasn't blind, he knew what his emotions were; he kept them closely guarded enough to know exactly what he was feeling long before most people that just let their own run wild did. Thus, Severus knew that he was highly attracted to, possibly in love with one member of the Gryffindor quartet, Remus Lupin. He was one rarely noticed by most of the school, with such friends it was hardly surprising. However, when ever any one of all of those Gryffindors were around it was only Remus that he could think of.

The fact alone that Remus would not leave Severus' head infuriated him. He knew what his emotions were but he could not control their course. Thus he was stuck, no matter how hard he tried to change it, on a half-blood Gryffindor boy. Severus really couldn't stand it. These feelings made him want to stab his wand right through someone's, preferably a Gryffindor's, throat and if he could Severus most certainly would have by now. Of all the people at Hogwarts why did Severus' emotions have to rest on Remus Lupin?

Fortunately this attachment of his did not stop Severus from wanting the Gryffindor foursome, Potter and Black in particular, expelled by any means. In fact it only fueled his desire. If Remus was no longer around perhaps his adoration for the other would fade. After all, there was no way Severus would _ever_ admit his affections to anyone, least likely Remus.

"Snape!"

Severus' eyes focused on the world around him again searching for the source of his name. He found it issuing from the lips of Lucius Malfoy once again as the said seventh year walked over to his seat in the corner.

"Snape." Lucius sat in a vacant chair across from Severus. "Hiding in a corner again?"

"Working." Severus said, indicating the books before him.

"As always." Malfoy said with a smile made of liquid charm.

Snape nodded curtly. For awhile they just sat in silence, looking out of their dark seclusion onto the fire lit common room. It seemed to Severus that patience was a common Slytherin trait when it came to things that mattered. Severus knew Malfoy wanted to talk, but it was his lead, so Severus stayed silent. Finally, Malfoy turned regally to look at Severus.

"So, have you given any thought to our previous conversation?"

"Of course I have." He replied.

Severus knew that was exactly why Lucius had sought him out again. Malfoy wanted a decision, something to tell him which side Severus was on, that was obvious. However, Malfoy didn't push. He simply waited for Severus to speak again and that Severus appreciated. Unlike some of his fellow class mates that jumped head long, Gryffindor-like, into any situation that seemed to bode advancement or position for them, Severus was more cautious. He liked to see all his options on the table before he dove into one.

"I have thought about what you said before." Snape said, breaking the stillness. "However, I have questions."

"Of course," Lucius replied. "It's only natural."

"First of all, why me? What special thing to I have to offer?"

Lucius nodded as if he had expected just that question.

"Severus," Malfoy used his first name. "There's no end to the things you can offer. You're a pureblood, you know the importance and the good of what he wants to accomplish. I know you are well versed and quite interested in the dark arts or else I wouldn't have come to you. Not to mention your unmatched potions skills. You're a good and powerful wizard Snape; one of the better ones of this school. Your abilities speak for themselves and what you can offer."

Severus nodded. He'd expected a speech such as this and hearing it only made it more real.

"Snape, it's a good calling." Lucius continued again. "Someone needs to clean up our world and put it back to the way it should be. Changes need to be made."

"I understand." Severus responded. "Mudbloods and purebloods shouldn't mix. There need to be standards."

Severus felt like he was talking almost to himself until he glanced over at Lucius, reminded that the other was there. Malfoy was smiling slyly at him.

"And he can teach you, Severus, teach you things you'll never find in a book here."

"I know." Severus replied.

It was this that sparked his interest in Lucius' offer most. This was a chance to learn about and see that area of magic which fascinated him most of all. This seemed to be one thing he wanted that he _could_ get.

--_X_--

I will not hex fellow students.

I will not hex fellow students.

I will not hex fellow students.

Severus put down his quill at number 221 and rubbed his hand. Looking down at his parchment Severus wondered on the professors' sanity. Surly, they were smart enough to realize that writing lines in detention didn't do a damn thing to change how students acted?

"Can't handle writing, Snape?"

Severus turned to glare at the boy sitting in the row next to him.

"Swallow your quill, Black." He responded.

"I want silence from you four!" Yelled Professor McGonagall from the front of the room.

With a last sneer, Severus returned to his lines.

I will not hex fellow students.

I will not hex fellow students.

As he wrote Severus glanced up at the other three members of his detention party, three Gryffindors and one Slytherin, a classic gathering. The four of them had all landed in detention after Black and himself had had a bit of a hex sharing in the hall, Pettigrew contributing as cheerleader and Lupin just watching from the back. The simple spat had escaladed some causing Professor McGonagall to intervene and punish all 'offending' parties involved. Amazingly, Potter had not been around, probably chasing after that mudblood.

Looking over at Black, Severus noticed him muttering down at a mirror in his lap.

Severus snorted and whispered, "I should have known, in love with your own reflection, Black? Feel the need to talk to it?"

Sirius jerked his head to look at Severus, stuffing the mirror in his robes' pocket.

"Stuff it, Snivellus. At least my reflection can be looked at without breaking the mirror."

"Ahem!"

Both looked up to the front then back to their parchment. In front of Sirius, Peter turned around briefly.

"She's gonna give you another detention."

"Turn around." Sirius snapped quietly, pushing the other's shoulder.

Severus saw Remus shake his head without turning around.

I will not hex fellow students.

I will hex fellow students.

Severus stopped and crossed out the line. He couldn't concentrate on the monotonous task of writing 500 lines of the same thing. Still, he pressed on, the sooner he was done the sooner his hand wouldn't feel like it was in a vice.

I will not hex fellow students.

I will not hex fellow students.

I will not

Severus raised his eyes from not hexing again, this time they looked straight ahead of him at Lupin's back. These were the only times, turned backs and sparsely populated rooms, when Severus dared look. He hated himself for the fact that he looked at all. He wanted to ignore his feelings, push them away, not look, not feel this need, but he couldn't. No matter how much he tried to force his eyes in other directions they always gravitated back to the same light brown fluffy hair and sloping shoulders. What could he do? Remus Lupin was beautiful, no comparison to the over-shinned or rough arrogant looks of his Gryffindor cohorts Potter and Black. Remus was just beautiful, from all angles, and he couldn't look away. Getting Remus expelled would definitely end up being the only option.

Realizing that he's been staring far too long, Severus forced his gaze back down at his parchment.

I will not hex fellow students.

I will not hex Remus Lupin.

Remus Remus Remus Remus Lupin

This change in his lines only half surprised Severus and he sighed at his own idiocy. Couldn't he control himself enough to write properly?

Suddenly he heard a half strangled growl from beside him. Turning his head in annoyance he saw Sirius Black glaring spears tipped with poison at him. Severus' brow furrowed in aggravated confusion until he noticed Sirius also glaring at the parchment before himself. One second away from making a comment about Sirius minding his own damn business Severus noticed Black's parchment. Remus' name was written on it over a dozen times in varying styles and with that comprehension dawned on Severus.

Severus' lip curled in anger. Sirius Black, feel the same way he did? For some reason this made Severus more angry than any other thing those Gryffindors had ever done to him did. He wanted to jump over to Black's chair and strangle him right there in detention. From the looks of it Black felt the same way.

"I don't believe it," Severus spoke so softly only Sirius could hear. "You, Black, Mr. Don Juan?"

"Don't you ever dare touch him or even speak to him." Sirius growled impulsively.

Severus' eyes narrowed, not that he ever planned to follow through on his emotions, but Sirius had no justification to control his actions at all. Plus, if he wasn't going to be with Remus then there was no way in hell Black was.

"Protective are we? Like you even deserve him."

Severus was a bit surprised with himself to speak of Remus in terms of more exalted status. However, Sirius seemed to be more focused on the slight against his person, typical self-centered arrogance.

"Better chance than you, like you're ever looked twice at by anyone, least of all him!" his voice was getting louder.

Severus was about to reach for his wand so he could blast Black's teeth out but just then Peter swung around in his chair.

"What are you goin' on about?"

Before Sirius could reply Remus abruptly stood up from his chair and walked to the front of the classroom.

"I've finished, professor."

He handed her his layers of parchment.

"Thank you, Mr. Lupin. You may go."

As they all watched Remus walk gracefully like a mist out the door Severus half wondered if Lupin had heard anything of what he and Black had said.

Sharing one last death glare with the other Severus returned his gaze firmly to his parchment. Now he had a new war to fight.

--_X_--

Severus slowly chewed his toast at breakfast. It was eggs today and in his opinion eggs were one of the most disgusting things on the planet, eating wise that was.

"Hey, Snape?"

Severus turned with exasperated eyes to the boy next to him.

"Yes, Avery?"

"Did you do your potions homework?"

"No, I burned it."

Avery blinked at him dumbly. "Why?"

Snape groaned. "You're an idiot."

"What… you mean…"

"Shut up, you sack of lard."

Avery turned away back to his breakfast still looking befuddled.

Severus shook his head at the severely lacking insult he had just used and took another piece of toast. Thoroughly spreading jam on it Severus soon found his eyes traveling to the Gryffindor table. Through a gap between two Hufflepuff girls Severus saw Remus sitting beside Potter, fortunately facing his way. Remus' hair was falling gracefully in his face and he seemed to be listening to Potter and Black talk. If Severus focused all his attention on that point he could hear their voices above everyone else's in the great hall.

"…finally get some fun." Black was speaking. "Enough boring charms…"

"…no potions." It was Peter. "Feels like forever… didn't do essay… yours?"

Severus strained to hear clearly then rolled his eyes at himself, questioning his own sanity for deeming it necessary to hear a conversation between Gryffindors he hated across the room. Then he heard Remus' voice over the din and his heart tried to rise through his throat.

"…can't study with you tonight." Remus was addressing Frank Longbottom who was standing behind him. "I have to visit my mother… sick… special permission."

With the greatest effort Severus forced his eyes back onto his jam covered toast, refusing to listen any longer; he shouldn't have wanted to listen anyhow.

Once again Remus was leaving Hogwarts for a night or two. Severus had noticed that year and ones past that Remus disappeared on and off for assorted random reasons throughout the school term. Severus was never privy to all the reason for Remus' absences but it still seemed rather suspect to him. How could one student get special permission to leave school or get sick so often? He'd never heard of such a thing before. Severus had called Lupin on it in the past but usually it had just led to another of his many hexing battles with Potter.

"Hey, Snape." Avery was speaking again. "Did you do that charms assignment?"

Severus didn't bother to answer only glanced across the room again. Seeing the Gryffindor quartet rising from their table Severus chomped down his last piece of jam toast and rose to meet them at the great hall doors. Avery got up with him, seemingly still in hope of charms assignment help.

Almost at the door Longbottom was still speaking to Remus.

"Is she really that sick?"

Remus coughed, sounding a bit reluctant to talk. "She'll be ok. I just need to go see her."

"Leaving again Lupin?" Severus yelled to the Gryffindors. "You'd think your whole family was going to kick it with the amount of emergencies you disappear for."

"Stuff it, Snape." Sirius growled menacingly, Severus smiled ruefully at his protective nature. "Are you saying he's lying?"

"Just a little curious isn't it, Lupin leaving or being absent so often from school."

"Just shove it, Snape." Lupin said half heartedly. "Come on guys."

"Keep to your own 'curiousness' Snivellus." Potter said, glaring. "Not any of your business, is it?"

"Why so defensive? Got something to hide?"

Next to Potter Severus thought he saw Black's lips curve in a sly smile but as he blinked it was gone.

"Why? Do you?" Remus snapped and stalked out the doors, the other three Gryffindors following.

Half of Severus' brain worried if Remus knew what he had said really meant.

As they walked Severus heard Black whisper to Peter beside him. "Why doesn't he go under the Whomping willow if he's so curious and find out for himself where Remus goes, like he could get past it."

"But Sirius, it's easy. Press the knot at the bas-"

Sirius cut Peter off, whacking him in the chest. They subversively glanced back at Severus then assuming he hadn't heard, they continued on after Potter and Lupin.

Severus stood dumbfounded at the great hall entrance with what he'd just heard. He's always thought Lupin's absences were a little strange and maybe false but he never really thought he'd be right! Questions started to fill Severus' head but a tap on his shoulder interrupted their complete formation.

"Snape, we've got to go to Potions."

Looking over at Avery who has spoken Severus walked out the door and toward the dungeons.

Severus hardly noticed the other students that skirted by or the path he was walking to class, his mind was so loud with thoughts he couldn't concentrate on anything else. What was beneath the Whomping willow? Was it a tunnel out of Hogwarts? Was it a secret classroom or was it a laboratory? Were there things hidden underneath that tree? Severus suddenly has the image of a huge underground room with walls of books, cauldrons, and glass jars, a dirt floor and tables covered in dragon hide.

Also what was Remus going down there? Why Remus? Did he go somewhere out of Hogwarts down there? What was so important that he has to use a hidden room or tunnel or whatever was down there?

Perhaps Remus was getting private lessons. Severus shook his head, if it was private lessons he could use a classroom, unless of course the lessons were for an illegal subjects. Maybe Remus was learning about the dark arts in the depths below the earth. Still, Lupin didn't really seem the type. On the other hand you never could tell with the quiet ones and Remus was fairly secretive. Perhaps he was having secret training. He could be learning to be an animangus or to apparate. Also, was Remus alone when he went below the Whomping willow or did me meet someone?

It took Severus a bit too long to realize that he had walked all the way down to the dungeons and was in the potions classroom. Taking his seat beside Nott, Severus glanced over at Remus sitting two tables forward with Pettigrew. Lupin didn't seem like the underhanded type to Severus. Perhaps he really was allowed to be disappearing as he did, Severus wouldn't put it past their muggle loving headmaster. Still, it seemed so secretive to Severus that it had to be against the rules.

Severus watched Remus' back through most of the class, as if some subtle movement of the Gryffindor would reveal his secret. This was the most he had ever looked at the other over a period of time but he had put discretion aside. Whatever it was that Lupin was up to could very likely be punishable, maybe even grounds for expulsion and part of Severus relished in the idea of seeing the foursome knocked down by loosing one of its members. Getting any one of them expelled would be a major victory for him.

Of course there was the other part of Severus which thought the idea of Remus being expelled was the worst thing to ever grace his mind. Severus hoped the previous of the two parts would win out. Plus, if Remus was doing something against the rules it would be only fair that he be brought to justice.

--_X_--

Standing in the shadows by the front doors Severus was still deliberating. His battling brain had narrowed down his options. One half said go under that tree, find out where Lupin went and what he did then get him expelled. However, another rather insistent part of his head had come up with the hair brained idea of telling Remus how he felt. Maybe Remus would understand, be sensible and not hex him. He seemed like a calm, rational person. Plus if the attempt failed Severus could still get Lupin expelled. Damn his confounding logic. There was also a small wicked part of him that relished the thought of snogging Lupin senseless.

Stepping out of his hiding space Severus moved resolutely towards the doors, only to see them open. Stowing himself back into shadow hoping to be passed without sight he saw Madam Pomfrey walk by from the entrance. Severus' brow creased but he decided not to add Madam Pomfrey to his wonder list.

Once again emerging from the shadows Severus slipped outside onto the moonlit grounds. He'd wished the moon might have been masked by clouds to hide his creeping but the sky was clear and bright. He hoped no one looked out the window and spotted some black robes moving across the lawn.

Severus sighed as he walked, rounding the edge of the castle nearing the Whomping willow. He was getting doubts now. Remus really wasn't a bad person, did he deserve to get in trouble or be expelled? Was he doing anything against the rules at all?

"He's a Gryffindor…" Severus muttered to himself. "A half-blood Gryffindor…" He sighed. "They all deserve it."

Still, he thought, how could a sweet gorgeous, maple haired boy like that deserve any harm or upset at all? How could something so perfect deserve it?

Severus shook his head violently.

"Stop it!" He yelled at himself.

He couldn't think like that. The four Gryffindors, all four, should be punished and expelled, end of story.

Coming up on the mysterious tree Severus looked around for a stick to press the knot Pettigrew had talked about. Finding one long enough to protect himself from the swinging limbs Severus looked around for this knot. On the third try he seemed to have found it as the tree's bone breaking motion suddenly stopped. Rather surprised Severus crept close to the trunk and saw the dark entrance that had appeared. Stepping down Severus soon found himself enveloped in darkness.

"Lumos."

A beam of light appeared before him guiding his path through the tunnel. Severus walked with an argument raging in his head. Why should he try to get Remus expelled? Why not? Why shouldn't he tell Remus how he felt? Why should he let a gap in his shield appear and give an enemy Gryffindor the way in? Why is Remus an enemy? Why wouldn't he be? Why shouldn't he take a chance? Why show weakness? Why couldn't good come out of telling Remus he loves him? Love?

Severus stopped his thoughts there and decided that he would pick a course of action when he found Lupin. Coming up on the end of the tunnel Severus saw a battered looking door with large cracks of missing wood at the top and bottom. He heard what sounded like movement behind the door, a scraping noise. Turning the handle Severus pulled the door towards him self and looked inside.

"Oh my God…"

--_X_--

"He's a werewolf!"

"He wasn't supposed to be out on the grounds!"

"They tricked me!"

"He was trying to get Remus expelled!"

"He _is_ a werewolf!"

"He just wanted to make trouble!"

"That can't be allowed!"

"It's not his business!"

"He just wants to make people miserable!"

"They wanted to get me killed!"

"That's insane!"

"Then what were you trying to do?"

"He was eavesdropping!"

"He should have minded his own business!"

"You wanted me to hear!"

"Yeah, right!"

"I could have been killed!"

"He's exaggerating!"

"I am not!"

"Remus wouldn't hurt him!"

"He's a _werewolf_!"

"He shouldn't have been out after hours!"

"Neither should you!"

"I saved you!"

"You shouldn't have needed to!"

"You're lucky I did!"

"Like I'd even want your help!"

"See! He's ungrateful!"

"To be saved by you when you tired to get me killed in the first place?"

"Enough."

Severus, Black, and Potter had been shouting accusations across the headmaster's office for five minutes without halt. However, the headmaster's quiet voice somehow cut right through their shouts, silencing all three.

"I have the picture now gentlemen, you may relax your voices."

"Professor, he shouldn't have been outside."

"You tricked-"

Dumbledore raised a hand to silence them.

"Both sides are at fault here."

Severus sighed, sensing defeat on the horizon and let his mind wander.

He could vaguely hear Dumbeldore's words, the slow calm voice that always remained that way even when the worst seemed to happen, telling Potter and Black how they could be expelled, remarks about safety and leniency. It all only came as a whisper because Severus could only think of one thing. His mind was swimming with the vision of a full grown werewolf's eyes piercing his body and looking at him only as prey. Bright yellow eyes that leapt at him and disappeared in an instant behind a door as he felt himself yanked backwards, the brightest yellow eyes filled with an uncontained ferocity and hunger for his flesh. And what seemed to be penetrating his thoughts most of all was the tint of despair hiding behind the animal in those glowing eyes. However, what disturbed him above all was not that Remus was a werewolf, nor that he had just nearly died by Remus' hands but that despite all that had happened in the past hour Severus knew that his heart, his feelings toward Remus had not changed at all. He was still bound by every emotion he dared to feel to precious strings and bows of Remus Lupin.

"Now, I would suggest," Dumbledore's voice came through clearly again. "That all three of you return to your dormitories. I shall be speaking to your heads of house."

All three nodded simultaneously in silence and exited through the office door.

Severus was sure now that his hatred for the two Gryffindors had grown exponentially, Sirius for nearly getting him killed and Potter for saving him. He was in Potter's debt and he wanted to kill Black for it. He wasn't sure if it would have just been better to die than have himself be saved by that Gryffindor. Also Severus' and Black's mutual hatred and semi battle over the werewolf felt only intensified by the evening's events. For some reason Severus was sure that Remus did not know about the trick. The one good Severus found from his near death experience was that Remus would undoubtedly be quite irate with Black and the others for betraying his dark secret.

Parting ways with the Gryffindors, Severus and Black shared a glare. Sirius' plainly said, 'I don't care if you could have died,' while Severus' said 'I wish you would.' Walking down the stairs into the dungeons Severus grimaced. He was in a contest with Black, in debt to Potter, and still in love with Lupin. There had to be a way to fix this.


	4. Ch4: The Writing on the Wall

Author Note: I'm sorry it took me soooooooo incredibly long to finally update this story. I've been very busy with college and for some reason this chapter has been slow going. But, it's finally done! It's in a different form from the others, as you can see. Both Sirius and Snape's point of views. Hope you enjoy it. And thanks to everyone from the reviews, both here and on lj. They always make me feel great!

A resounding pop echoed down the street as a dark haired figure apparated to the spot. Sirius Black shook his hair out and carefully looked over the area, wand out, to make sure no one was around.

"Emerald and Prongs." He spoke into the dim evening light.

In front of Sirius a thin dirt path appeared leading to a small two level house. Stepping onto the path Sirius walked down towards the Potter's home. They had recently added this security measure to their residence after the attack on them by several death eaters. Coming to the gate Sirius waved his wand to emit green and yellow sparks. The air by Sirius seemed to shiver as the protective spells around the house allowed him entrance. He bounded up the stone walk and knocked on the door.

"Hello there, Padfoot."

Sirius smiled widely back at the stunning face of Remus Lupin.

"You beat me!"

Remus grinned slyly and nodded.

"You're last, come on in."

Remus moved aside to allow Sirius entrance into the house. Coming in Sirius saw Peter was already there, sitting in a chair by the sofa.

"Happy Anniversary!" Sirius said, spotting James and moving to give him a hug.

"Why, thank you!" James said. "Now where's my present?"

The other three laughed and Lily bopped him on the head as she came in the room.

"You know very well the present is for me." She said.

They all laughed again and James faked a pout

"She never lets me have any fun."

Lily nodded and they all moved to sit in the den where Peter was already situated. Sirius made sure to share a spot on Lily and James' two person couch with Remus.

"So, where have you been Moony? We haven't seen you in awhile."

It had indeed been causing Sirius serious anguish to be parted from the werewolf for so long but Remus hadn't been available. All of Sirius' order work, tailing suspected death eaters and working to keep ministry targets safe, couldn't distract him fully from the Remus sized hole that formed when the other wasn't around.

"I've been busy." Remus didn't look at Sirius when he spoke.

"Too busy to visit? You missed the Halloween party. It was a lot of fun; Lily dressed up as old McGonagall. We missed you."

"I know. I'm sorry." He looked back at Sirius with a smile. "But I'm here now."

"Yeah, you are."

Sirius smiled, forcing back his wonder and worry at Remus' absence. Moony was here now and Sirius felt like it was his party for this fabulous gift.

"James, open the present." Peter was talking. "You'll love it."

Sirius saw James grinning at Lily as he looked back at them.

"See, for me."

"There's one for Lily too." Peter said, handing it over.

Prongs glared playfully at Peter then looked at Lily.

"You win this time."

"You mean every time." She quipped back.

James huffed then turned back to his paper wrapped box. Both then began unwrapping their presents and responded with nearly identical squeals of glee over what they received.

"Oh my God, Peter, it's beautiful."

Lily had pulled a pale green cloak out of her box with gold trim on the sleeves.

"It's charmed to shine in sun and moon light." Peter said, blushing slightly.

Remus cast a surprised look at Sirius who nodded back in agreement. Beside Lily, James was already tapping a small dark mahogany box with his wand. It opened and out of the top came a wide cone shaped beam of light. The light soon turned into a miniature Quidditch match, suspended above the open box.

"Last game of 7th year, Gryffindor vs. Ravenclaw for the cup when you made that catch of the snitch by jumping off your broom."

James just continued to stare at the light, eyes following the tiny players.

"He thanks you no doubt." Lily said with a small laugh. "How'd you get that?"

"Actually…"

Peter's voice was drowned out suddenly to Sirius by the man next to him.

"Well, my gift is outshined…" Remus muttered close to Sirius, hot breath ghosting over his ear.

Sirius couldn't respond at first, frozen by the intense feeling of desire rising from his gut like a tidal wave.

"I, uh, yeah, mine's bugger all now."

Sirius regained himself despite the fact that Remus was still close beside him, legs touching at exactly two points and elbows brushing slightly when they breathed.

"We could conjure something when they're not looking." Remus said with a quiet smile, leaning over Sirius' shoulder.

Remus honestly seemed not to have heat sensors in his body or he would have no doubt received third degree burns by now from the fire flowing in Sirius. Every inch of him longed to just turn to the side and capture Remus' lips with his own. It had been too long since Sirius had seen the werewolf and the absence was being made up for now by intense desire. Any little touch from Moony was driving Padfoot up the wall of ecstasy.

Catching his breath, which had seemed to have previously gone on holiday, Sirius nodded and looked sidelong at Remus.

"Good idea, but it think we're too late now."

For once Sirius had no witty remark to accentuate his statement and simply motioned towards James and Lily who were now opening the gifts from Remus and Sirius.

"Oh well." Remus said, smiling as Lily thanked him for the album of wedding photos.

After a large meal of white sauce pasta and chicken, Remus and Sirius were sitting alone on the Potter's back porch. The Longbottoms had arrived for a short visit and Lily was having Harry meet the Longbottom baby, Neville. Unlike the giggly ball of action Harry the little Longbottom was a quiet child with wide eyes that looked at you like he knew every answer there were for any question. Sirius preferred noisy Harry, probably because he saw little bits of his nature and James' already popping up in little Harry.

Looking to his right Sirius regarded the strict profile of a Remus looking at the night sky.

"What are you brooding about pensive boy?"

Sirius always had to lighten the mood. It was in his opinion that one had to live for the now and not worry too much about the past or future, granted he did worry sometimes with the war on. Still, unlike Remus, Sirius didn't do too much planning. He was better at damage control and acting suddenly on his feet; only draw back was that he didn't think ahead before he rushed in.

Remus' eyes, now turned toward Sirius, looked slightly affronted by the question but softened quickly as Remus seemed to realize Sirius meant no slight.

"Just worried about Lily and James."

Sirius nodded faintly, not sure how to respond. The customary 'they'll be ok' didn't really seem to work anymore. Then in a sudden burst of consolation Sirius put him hand on Remus' shoulder. Sad eyes turned to Sirius, for once not masked by an image of calm control, and Sirius felt as though his heart would crack. One hand turned into an arm around back and Remus' head on his shoulder. Sirius ignored the burning in his chest because Remus seemed to be letting his shield down for one moment in time and Sirius would not allow any fire to keep him from it.

Remus let out a shaky sigh which caused an echo in Sirius. They were all still children after all, thrust into adulthood and huge responsibility of a war for their lives before they should have normally been able to manage their own finances. Sirius knew that Remus was really the oldest of them all and had been for years. He had held each of them up more times than his share of supports should have ever allowed. All of them needed help through this war, even Moony.

"What are we going to do, Padfoot?" Remus said from Sirius' shoulder. "What if we don't…"

His sentence didn't need finishing for Sirius to hold him tighter, rest his chin over Remus' head and wish he could kiss the worry and fear away.

"I know. I can't imagine life without…"

He wanted to say, you.

"I know." Remus said, quietly with a tone that made Sirius wonder if he really did _know_.

Sirius simply held Remus until the other sighed and slipped out of his arms.

"I've got to go."

"Now?" Sirius couldn't stop the pleading tone creeping into his voice.

Remus nodded, standing with an invisible string bringing Sirius along.

"It's…. Just work." Remus said.

Sirius decided not to ask what the work was. Any 'work' any of them had now always brought a feeling of doom with it. Both turned and went inside. James and Lily were talking quietly, Harry between them. The Longbottoms and Peter had obviously left earlier.

"James, Lily," Remus got their attention. "I'm afraid I have to leave you now."

"Must you?" Lily asked.

Remus smiled warmly and ruffled Harry's slight poof of unruly hair.

"Yes, work to attend to."

Everyone nodded and Remus smiled goodbye. They never actually said goodbye because it sounded like forever. Sirius watched Remus' back disappear through the front door and wished for only a moment more.

"I hope it's not order work." Lily muttered, sounding convinced that it was, and sat on the couch with Harry in her lap.

"Hrm…" was all James said as the two men joined Lily.

"By the way, Padfoot," James said to Sirius. "I needed to tell you," He sighed heavily. "Dumbledore is suspicious that there might be a spy within the order."

"What!" Lily practically barked in angry disbelief. "Impossible!"

Harry whined softly in her lap.

"Really, Lils, how else could the death eaters have found us a second time after the move? And now we're here."

"You sure?" Sirius said. "I mean there are other ways."

"Well, he's only suspicious. But it would have to be someone we knew at least. No one else could have known where to find us."

"I don't know…" Lily said.

Sirius wasn't listening however because his brain suddenly wondered what 'work' Remus was doing. He shook his head violently. It was impossible. He would never betray them, werewolf or not. Remus was beautiful, kind, reasonable perfection. They knew him, right?

---x---

Severus, finally finding a suitable vial of night shade, paid the gray looking mad behind the counter and walked out into the dim evening light of Knockturn Alley. He'd been meaning to purchase more potions ingredients for some time but other… things had kept him from it. Thus, now his arms were rather heavy laden with two bags full of precious bottles, jars, and boxes. However, not one to be bothered by bag carrying, Severus muttered a quick reducing spell on the bags, slipped them into his pocket, and walked on. The cool air that always seemed present in this area of London wiped around Severus like an impending storm, but he did not bat an eye. Undoubtedly, Severus Snape would not 'bat an eye' for any reason. Not only was it Severus' nature now to never be phased by anything but it seriously helped when you were a death eater.

Coming up to the entrance of Knockturn alley, Severus saw a strangely familiar back striding just ahead of him. He stiffened, unsure as to whom he was recognizing. Familiarity with anyone outside of his 'organization' was dangerous and as Severus passed he hoped it was not anyone important that would recognize him as well.

"Severus Snape."

Unable to force himself to keep walking Severus stopped dead at the sound of that voice. Fists clenching at his sides Severus turned slowly on his heel to the man that was now beside him.

"Lupin."

Severus still could not move. His past was before him now with gorgeous eyes and pursed lips, cementing him to the spot. It felt like a tremendous weight was suddenly on his chest and was reminding him of old looks, ancient touches, and rough edged memories of days far gone that he had tried to forget completely.

"It's been a long time."

Remus' voice was impassive as always, neither happy nor hateful.

"Hardly long enough."

Luckily Severus found his tongue was still intact and he could bite as always. Still not surprising was Lupin's complete lack of any shock reaction. Even though he hated to admit it, as always Lupin seemed more in control, then Severus tried so hard to be, with the appearance of no effort taken in doing so. If Severus did not use such tricks himself he could have been convinced it was the truth.

"Shopping?" Remus said.

"Quite." Severus replied crisply. "Good evening."

Against what seemed like extreme gravitational forces, Severus turned to escape back up the street.

"Severus, wait."

A firm hand took hold of the crook of his arm, insistent but non binding at the same time. Severus could not respond, though his expression did not change, because the sudden contact and words had caused his brain to explode with noise.

_He's touching me – he used my first name – so hot – touching – he said – touching me – can't move – he said Severus – must stop – can't do this – no – touching – he said – can't_

"You don't need to run." Lupin said.

Somehow Severus turned to look back at the other and spoke harshly.

"I would hardly run from you, werewolf."

Severus could not stop the last biting word from passing his lips. If you can't be kind, hurt as much as you can. Severus thought he saw a flicker of pain pass through Lupin's otherwise impassive eyes but it was too quick to be sure of.

"I'm not an auror; I'm not going to turn you in." Lupin's hand had dropped.

Severus stiffened ever so slightly in response, brave Gryffindor always out to be a heroic understanding savior for lost causes.

"I don't know what you're talking about."

One of them had to keep up the charade. It wasn't safe to talk like this!

"Are you happy?" Lupin asked.

"What?"

Why was Lupin questioning him? Why were they speaking like this? It was like signing a death warrant.

"Are you happy with them?" His eyes looked dark. "Is this what you want, serving him?"

Lupin's voice was very quiet but Severus did not miss one word.

"You tread on dangerous ground." Severus said, his voice like ice.

"Because you and you _friends_ cause it?" Lupin countered.

Severus snapped. "I could have you ki-"

"-But I know you won't!" Remus cut him off.

The sudden voicing of what appeared to be faith in him struck Severus silent.

"I know you won't," Lupin continued. "You're different, you've always been. So I don't understand…" He trailed off. "I don't understand why…"

Silence over took them as Severus' mind kept wondering again and again why Lupin was doing this. His voice seemed almost pained to be saying these things. It was like Severus could see a warm hand reaching out to pull him up from the snow and he didn't understand what warmth was.

"Why are you-" Severus felt a chink cracking in his shield.

Lupin did not respond but reached his hand out. However, he stopped just as suddenly, deciding better, and dropped it. Trying to regain his box of steel Severus pulled himself up taller.

"You know nothing, Lupin, nothing at all."

Remus spoke after a long stillness. "Neither do you."

They stared at each other then, two pairs of eyes trying to cut into the other and find out just what was really inside. Severus felt Remus' gaze like burning moonlight into his body, cutting him to pieces. With an enormous amount of willpower, Severus managed to turn himself around and walk away from Lupin. He did not follow.

Severus couldn't stop himself from shuddering and leaning against a stone wall back in a dark corner once he was away from those eyes. Severus sighed faintly, disgusted with his lack of control. Standing up straight again Severus rubbed his temple.

He wasn't supposed to be phased like this, especially not by Lupin. The worst part of their encounter was the swelling he felt in his heart. The years apart had not changed him or his feelings it seemed. Love was not a thing he could afford to feel, for anyone. Imagining what would happen to Lupin if his Lord should know… Severus had to close his eyes to contain himself.

He'd been having doubts for a short time now, doubts about serving the Dark Lord. He took no pleasure in torturing innocent people or watching them die. Severus did enjoy his potion making, at least when he didn't think about what they were to be used for. Granted, neither side of this war seemed promising for him. Unfortunately, Severus was discovering that he did in fact have a conscience, perhaps just a different one than most people. Before this encounter he's been trying to convince himself that he'd already made his choice and there was no going back. However, now all that Severus could see when he closed his eyes were the many ways which the people he was aligned with could and would kill Remus.

Severus, though now decided, could not believe that the thing which finally tipped his resolve turned out to love, love for Remus Lupin. He wanted to join the light side to escape the unjust killing, misguided principles, oppressive control and to protect the single life of the one he loved but could not have. Since when were Slytherins controlled by their hearts?

Still, his ambition for status was not un-sated by this turning. Severus had to remind himself, as he had been doing so recently, that however much the Dark Lord preached of handing power to his servants none could share it with him. Severus knew that deep at the root of his Slytherin ways he did not want to be subservient to anyone. Still, it really was Remus that had pushed him onto this path, a beautiful spark to set the straw on fire. He could not bear the thought of what could happen to Lupin and Severus hated being controlled by this feeling.

Severus realized which was the right side, the side of life, despite his dark ways and dark soul. He had to speak to Dumbledore.

-----x-----

A boisterous giggle shook the blue snitch patterned wrapping paper as it was torn for the twentieth time by small fingers. The gathered crowd could not help but laugh along. In days such as these uncontrolled laughter from pure happiness was infectious to those who rarely laughed anymore.

"Well…" one voice found itself through the chuckling. "I… suppose my gift is a hit then."

Watching Harry so happy made Sirius wistful to better days and he wished Harry didn't have to be born during a time of such turmoil. Still, as his gift was dismantled he saw that this day was turning out to be a perfect first birthday.

"I don't think he even noticed there was something in the box." Lily's voice chimed.

"But we all know that's just what Sirius would be doing if it was his present, so it's only fitting."

Sirius barked a laugh at Remus, trying to be insulted and failing. Lily finally got up from the couch and rescued the wrapping paper from little Harry's destructive fingers.

"Cake?" James asked.

"Great idea!" Lily said, picking up the squiggling boy who still seemed intent upon the wrapping paper.

"Little funny to have cake when Harry can't even really eat it." Remus said as he rose from his chair.

"He can tear it apart like the paper." Peter replied with a laugh.

"I think his Godfather can take care of that." Remus said, looking at Sirius.

Sirius, who had already been right at the door to the kitchen, looked back at Remus.

"I'll make sure to get plenty of you, Moony."

"As expected." He said with a smirk.

Sirius smiled back, though not as warmly as he might have. Remus had been an absent figure in most of their lives lately. And though it was killing Sirius to think that way, Remus lack of presence was becoming more suspicious. He had been the only one absent from the New Years Eve event when the Potter house was attacked by death eaters for the third time. Also, the suspected spy within the order had not yet been sniffed out as far as he knew. Still, Sirius could never believe that Moony, his Moony, would…

"Come on, Sirius, or Harry will get it all."

Remus was right in front of Sirius now. He could smell the musty scent of books and ink on Remus' clothes, intermingled with a whiff of curry.

Sirius pouted, "He'd never do that to me."

A starlight smile spread across Remus' face and all Sirius could think was, how could this vision before him ever cause anyone harm?

"Oh, yeah?"

Sirius blinked.

Soft fingers with a smell of parchment to them turned Sirius' chin to look into the kitchen. However, Sirius' eyes could not focus clearly on Harry smashing a piece of cake on his high chair plate until the cold bite of the loss of fingers awakened his senses to the rest of the world. He'd rather have had those fingers touching his face than eyesight at all. Regaining himself completely Sirius looked back to Remus beside him, his wit returned.

"You win this round, Lupin."

"First and only time, eh?"

"Maybe I'll let you win once more."

Remus had already won the biggest match concerning Sirius anyhow.

"Here, you two." Lily walked over to them holding two pieces of cake. "Now you both eat, yes, you, Remus. I don't want any leftover cake in this house. James snacks enough has it is!"

"I'll take care of that Lils." Sirius said, taking a huge bite of his cake.

"Hey! I don't snack all the time." James whined from where he sat beside Harry.

"I remember at least two occasions when your face looked hardly dissimilar from Harry's now."

Everyone looked at Harry and he looked back to Lily and her matching eyes. Cake was covering the entire lower half of Harry's face and his hands looked almost completely red from icing.

"I wonder how much got in his mouth." Peter said as he leaned against the sink suppressing a laugh.

"Not enough." Remus said.

They were soon all laughing as Lily used a napkin to try and clean the little boy up.

"He's just going to get more on his face, you know." James muttered, as if trying to rescue Harry and was still sore about Lily's comment on his eating habits.

"Shush." Lily replied.

"He's beating you, Sirius." Remus said. "Look at that cake!"

Sirius glared at Remus then found himself pushing his half eaten cake into the other's face. Peter burst out laughing as Remus blinked slowly.

"You've caught up at least." Sirius said smugly.

Before Sirius' first laugh could even form in his throat Remus' cake was smeared all over his face and Remus' hands were rubbing icing into his hair.

"You git!"

Sirius grabbed the cake out of Peter's hand and threw a handful at Remus who ducked the attack to the floor.

"Ah ha-ugh!" Remus yelled as he stood and Sirius spread icing down his sweater.

"Take that!" Sirius cried.

Not a moment after his yell Remus stole some more of the cake and tired to force it onto Sirius' chest. Sirius, however, tried to lean back away from Remus but ended up only loosing his balance, grabbing onto Remus for support, and bringing them both down onto the floor. Sirius landed hard, slipping on icing, and promptly had the wind knocked out of him by Remus landing on top, groaning.

"Oh… I definitely hate you now." Sirius groaned.

"You-ow-pulled me down."

"Boys?"

They both looked up at Lily.

"How old are you again?"

Peter was laughing hysterically seated beside James who was applauding.

"21?" Sirius asked.

"5." Lily said.

"Now, I don't know if that's fair!" Remus said, sitting up clumsily onto his knees, "Give us 8 at least."

"9 maybe." Sirius said, sitting up, Remus still kneeling where he'd landed between Sirius' legs.

"6." Lily conceded.

The other two sighed looking at each other. Large quantities of cake and icing clung to Remus' face and Sirius soon found himself and Remus laughing hysterically. They both looked like desserts made by 2 year olds on the kitchen floor, hence their new ages.

"Wonderful row, boys, wonderful!" James was saying with a mock aristocratic tone.

"You know I love you both but look at the floor!" Lily said, waving her wand with a smile she seemed to be trying to suppress.

Sirius then found the floor, Remus, and he clean of cake.

"Thank you, Madam Potter!" Sirius exclaimed, jumping up and pulling Remus with him, nearly knocking Remus backward in the process. "You are a saint."

"And let's not kill Remus." Lily said.

Sirius looked back at the other apologetically as he straightened his robes. "Sorry there, Moony. I'm just a crazy 6 year old after all."

"As you've always been." Remus replied.

"Anyhow, you two," James was speaking. "We've got to tell you all something."

Lily sat down next to James and Peter cocked an eyebrow as she did so.

"What?" Sirius finally asked to the silent room.

"Lily and I have to move. It's not working. Dumbledore says the Death eaters know our location again."

Remus and Sirius sat down soberly around the table. Stealing a glance at Remus, Sirius couldn't help the suspicion creeping up again and he felt a stab in his heart.

"We can't stay here," James started again. "_He_ really wants us… dead and Dumbledore still doesn't know who the spy is."

A loud crash shook the room and they all jumped in their chairs. Beside Lily Harry began to cry. Peter had dropped his mug. Lily picked up Harry and carried him out of the room as Peter gathered up the shards of broken pottery.

"Anyhow," James went on. "Since we know the order's been infiltrated Dumbledore suggested the Fidelius Charm."

"What?" Peter squeaked.

Sirius perked up, "Really? Who's going to be your secret keeper?"

"Well… we'd hoped, we wanted, I wanted…" James raised his eyebrows at Sirius.

"Oh… oh!" Sirius smiled. "Of course mate!"

"Are you sure about that, Sirius?" Remus asked. "I mean, James, is it that extreme? What could happen to…"

"Well, we've tried everything else, Moony." James said.

"But what about- "

"But what?" Sirius said, annoyed.

"Well, its just that its dangerous and-" Remus started but Sirius cut him off again."

"Moony, you think I can't do it?" Sirius challenged.

"That's not what I meant." Remus countered, his voice sounding controlled.

"Well, what? They have to do something! Do you want them attacked again?" Sirius barked, his suspicion finally getting the better of him.

"What!" James yelled. "Pads!"

Remus' voice was colder and slow, as if he was trying to stop himself from screaming. "I just think there should be something else they could do."

"Like what, Remus? Wait for you-know-who to come and take him on themselves?" Sirius was really yelling now.

"I'm just worried about what could happen to you!" Remus yelled back.

"What about Lily and James? Do you want them to die?"

"Of course I don't! I just don't want you throwing yourself in the way too!"

"I'd gladly die for them!"

"And maybe you will!" Remus screamed, jumping to his feet.

A cold silence struck the room then, Remus and Sirius staring each other down. Peter and James sat still, mouths agape at their fellow marauders. Sirius' heart, normally filled with fluttering sunbeams and euphoria at the feeling of Remus' eyes upon, him was growing colder. Why would Remus be so against this unless he already knew what was going to happen? Was Remus the spy? Why else would he be so against this? He would know that Sirius would never give away where James was and ruin their plan. Was Remus a traitor?

"Sirius?"

James voice broke through Sirius' stare with Remus. No… Remus couldn't be the spy. How could he be? Remus had always been the kindest of them all. But…

"I have to go."

Sirius looked back to Remus.

"Now?" Peter asked.

"I'm sorry but yes." Remus looked back to him and Sirius couldn't smile. "Have a good rest of the night and apologize to Lily for me."

"Alright, Moony. We'll see you later then." James said standing and giving Remus a quick hug goodbye.

Remus looked at Sirius for a long moment, seeming to be waiting for something, anything. Sirius simply stared back at him, doubts forcing his weight to the chair. Then, Remus turned and walked out the front door, robes billowing behind him. A quick pang came to Sirius that he was never going to see Remus leave him again.

Letting out breath he didn't know he's been holding, Sirius looked back at the table.

"Are you alright, Padfoot?" James asked.

He only nodded, still staring at the table.

"I'm sure he meant well." Peter said, though his hands were shaking.

"I don't know, Wormtail, I don't know."

-------x-------

It was Peter. It was Peter, it was Peter. It was fucking Peter. It was Peter.

Sirius couldn't stop his mind racing.

It was Peter! Peter, Peter, Peter, PETER!

His mind wouldn't stop with the same words over and over and it was so loud. Ringing laughter was filling his ears, drowning out the world around him, the crater in the street, and the dead bodies. The words and laughter wouldn't stop.

It was Peter! It was stupid little chubby spineless Peter!

Peter, Peter, Peter.

Sirius realized then the laughter was his own and he could not stop. He laughed at the wreckage around him. He laughed at Peter's escape. He laughed at Peter finally pulling off a trick of his own. He laughed at how it seemed so unreal. And he laughed at his own idiocy for falling into Peter's trap.

It had been Peter all along.

Sirius saw wands around him now, aurors grabbing him and still he laughed louder and louder.

It had been Peter, Peter had betrayed them. Peter was the spy. Peter had just framed him. And it had never ever been Remus and he had been a fool. He'd been a fool to believe.

He felt himself being dragged away by cruel hands but he couldn't hear what any of the faceless people said over the ringing laughter.

Peter had killed James and Lily. Harry was an orphan. He was going to Azkaban. And Remus who had never, ever, done wrong was going to be all alone in the world thinking he was the traitor. And Sirius would never see his shinning face again.

It had been Peter and Sirius could not stop laughing.


End file.
